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The 2023 Scott Boras Translator


Bot Boras is back!

The 2023 MLB GM Meetings were in full swing last week until a rampant norovirus sent everyone running home early. Whether you think it's fortunate or not, the most infamous agent in Major League Baseball, Scott Boras, was able to hold his annual press scrum before everyone had to trot out of Vegas, and as usual, he delivered some of the most wild and incoherent one-liners you'll hear all year.


Never fear, however, because we're back with the Scott Boras Translator to try and make sense of some of the most incoherent and Cubs-relevant pieces of the Boras presser. Here's how Bot Boras breaks down those crazy Borasisms.


Boras Quote:

Translation: "I am 100% talking Cody out of giving the Cubs a hometown discount, I don't care how much he liked playing there."

Scott Boras is never one to try and get anything but the biggest, longest, fattest contract for his clients, no matter who they are and what they say. I know Sparkles always said that Boras worked for him, but I've always been suspect about how any extension talks may or may not have gone between him and the Cubs simply because of his agent. Would Boras "let" Bellinger take less money to stick with the Cubs? Maybe, but he certainly wouldn't want anyone to know about it if it happened.


Boras Quote:

Translation: "We know the Mets have a butt-ton of money and I'm ready and willing to bilk them out of it for Pete Alonso."

Boras isn't dumb, and he knows that Steve Cohen just spent the last several years telling everyone how much money he was willing to spend on the Mets. Is he even serious if he's not willing to cough up for the Polar Bear? Boras also has free agent clients to protect, and teams thinking Alonso might be available in a trade hurts him. Which leads us to...


Boras Quote:

Translation: "I have free agent clients who are left-handed bats, and I need to make sure their market stays robust."

It doesn't benefit Boras's other clients like Cody Bellinger if teams like the Cubs and Yankees think Juan Soto will be available in trade this winter. Soto is younger and a team like the Cubs that has money coming off of the books after 2024 might actually prefer having him only for one season in advance of a deeper positional free agent market next winter. In fact, it probably drags out the process and makes things a lot more uncertain for Bellinger until teams know for sure whether Soto will be dealt. Therefore, it is most definitely in Boras's best interests to downplay any chance of a trade. Soto will get his turn in free agency next year.


Boras Quote:

Translation: "See what I just did with Cody Bellinger? You're next, Rhys Hoskins!"

Yes, Bellinger has MVP and Rookie of the Year awards attached to his career, but Rhys Hoskins is a very productive hitter coming off of a pretty nasty injury. Boras has turned one client's comeback into a chum-feeding frenzy this winter, and is salivating at the opportunity to do it again next year if he can get Hoskins a pillow deal somewhere now.


Boras Quote:

Translation: "I want all of my special snowflakes to be free from adversity during the World Series so they can perform at their peak."

No one wants this. It's fine for the Superb Owl, sure, but the World Series is just fine like it is. However, if I'm a super agent, I suppose I'd want my guys that are playing in the fall classic to be at a neutral location so they won't be inundated with the other team's "fans" for close to half of the series or having to travel between locations. I mean, peak performance raises their value and all. It's Boras. He's kind of off his rocker.


That's all for the 2023 Scott Boras Translator. I'm sure we'll be back next year to fire up Bot Boras when we need to decipher just what the <bleep bloop> Scott is saying!


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