Forbidden Love: Kato Kaelin
Forbidden Love is a Cubs DNA series where our staff waxes poetic about a player on a team other than the Cubs. Maybe even one you think they should hate. In this installment, Staci goes way out on a limb with some love for infamous Milwaukee Brewers fan and expert at deploying the poop emoji, Kato Kaelin!
When I wrote my Forbidden Love entry on Bob Uecker, I honestly didn't think there was another Brewers-related person who would ever find their way into one of these. Maybe it's been too long since we've had baseball, because I don't know how I could have forgotten about Wisconsin's most famous sports fan, Kato Kaelin.
You might know Kato from the 1990's, when he first became known as the houseguest of a person who shall remain nameless who probably, most likely murdered his ex-wife and her friend. Kato was prominently involved in the subsequent circus of a trial and we all watched him testify while his flowing blond hair whooshed in the courtroom hot air.
For those of you in the younger set, you might know Kato from his many appearances on reality television, at those pop culture conventions that are popular these days, or from the latest season of Celebrity Big Brother, where he finished 8th out of a group of 12 sort of famous people.
Me? My utmost love and respect for Kato Kaelin developed over the last few years with the emergence of Extremely Online Sports Fan Kato. If you haven't experienced Kato Kaelin rooting for the Brewers, you've missed out on a magical treat. See, Kato is honestly all of us. He's all of those guys in Bleacher Nation's game threads, ranting and going full meatball every time the Cubs lose. But instead of hiding behind some anonymous screen name in a comment section, Kato is just... right out there. On Twitter. Letting it all fly at the Brewers. Let me give you a few examples.
It's art. All of it.
What's even better about Kato, though, is that he's a good sport! When #AtCubs made him an offer to root for our boys during the 2017 postseason, he not only took it in stride, but he made a counter offer!
If Kato's bringing cheese to the party, he's invited any time! I'll also admit to having a couple of pleasant baseball exchanges with Kato myself that had nothing to do with puke or vomit!
Just about any day, you can find Kato having completely normal interaction with fans on Twitter about sports and a number of other things, and he seems like a really cool dude. As long as you're not being a jerk or, you know, Craig Counsell, you're probably okay by Kato!
So if you're suppressing your inner meatball and want to experience the joy of watching someone else let theirs out, give Kato a follow. Even say hi and let him know you're a Cubs fan. After all, if there's one thing we all share, it's the fact that our sports teams sometimes make us feel exactly like this: