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Forbidden Love: Giancarlo Stanton

Forbidden Love is a Cubs DNA series where our staff waxes poetic about a player on a team other than the Cubs. Maybe even one you think they should hate. In this installment, Staci gives her thoughts on why she wouldn't hate the idea of having New York Yankees outfielder Giancarlo Stanton on the Cubs. You know, just... not in exchange for Yu Darvish.

Just when we thought we'd seen the worst of the bad trade ideas, Bad Trade Idea Machine Joel Sherman of the New York Post came up with this, perhaps the mother of all bad trade ideas:

He's like the Bizarro Sachin Gupta.

Now, recall that Stanton a) still has $218 million and 7 years on his contract, 2) has a terrible injury history and has yet to play more than one full season for the Yankees, and x) is terribly inconsistent even when he is on the field. Also, I'm still incredibly bitter at his 2017 NL MVP win, which probably should have gone to Joey Votto except one knucklehead placed Votto 5th and cost him the prize. Jerk.

I know, man. Me too.

That trade proposal is practically akin to paying Stanton's salary for a handful of unnamed prospects while giving up a cheap (relative to the market) ace pitcher, a Gold Glove right fielder and a future HOF closer, which...

That said, if the Yankees wanted to eat a substantial portion of Stanton's contract and send him to the Cubs for, uh, NOT YU DARVISH, maybe we could talk. Why? Well, I think his injury issues make a lot of people forget just how good Stanton is when he's healthy and on. Even if I thought Votto was slightly better, Stanton's 2017 season consisted of a .281/.376/.671 slash line with 59 bombs and 132 RBI for the Marlins. That's a 158 wRC+ and 7.3 fWAR if you're into those advanced nerd statistics like I am. That's, uh, a useful player if you can keep him on the field, particularly if the DH is in play. I mean, just watch this man crush baseballs.

Not to mention, and allow me to get shallow for a sec, but if the Cubs trade Kris Bryant we may just need to replace some of that handsomeness on the roster. And when I say "handsomeness," I mean "biceps."

Oh hai.

Honestly, Stanton in the fun suck that is the Bronx has simply been a crime. Let the man have his chin fuzz back, and he can go around Wrigley giving us a #gunshow every day of the week if he wants and allowing us to enjoy Instagram birthday posts like this:

Imagine this, but with the Wrigley Field ivy behind it.

Also, his name is Giancarlo. Just say that.... Giancarrrrrrrrlo. I mean, imagine all that in Cubbie pinstripes. It'd just be better. Plus, he'd add to the Cubs ESPN Nekkids Club, which would make Tina absolutely ecstatic. And you all know we live to keep Tina happy here at the DNA.

Tina made me post these. At least, that's the story I'm going with. (Pics: ESPN The Magazine)


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