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Forbidden Love: Dansby Swanson

Oh hai, Dansby. (Pic: Jace Lumley/Express)

Forbidden Love is a Cubs DNA series where our staff waxes poetic about a player on a team other than the Cubs. Maybe even one you think they should hate. In this installment, Staci blesses us with some Valentine's Week musings on Atlanta Braves shortstop Dansby Swanson.

Happy Valentine's Week, lovely Cubs DNA readers! Usually my Forbidden Love musings are about a player that is a warrior on the field, or whose personality or contributions to the game or charitable activities are renown league-wide. This week, I'm dedicating this space to something purely shallow.

He waved at me, you guys!

It's not like I doubt Dansby is a nice person. He seems like a lovely young Southern man who probably has a Mamoo he visits whenever he goes home to Georgia. He probably calls and talks to his mama every few days and respects his dad Cooter immensely.

Dansby isn't what you'd call an elite baseball player, though, but for our purposes today his career .245/.318/.385 slash line and 81 wRC+ will do just fine. Why? We'll, just watch this video and tell us that his accent isn't the most adorable thing you've heard all day.

If men with fabulous flows are your thing, forget Bryce Harper--Dansby has, hands down, the best hair in MLB. It's thick, it's shiny, and it looks like you could literally get lost in it for the better part of the baseball season. You know, if that's your thing.

I confess--it is very much my thing.

And yes, much like our beloved Sparkles (and he is still BELOVED and still OUR Sparkles, THANKYOUVERYMUCH), Dansby also did some modeling for Express, with some extremely handsome results.

The Braves were so impressed with what they cultivated in Dansby that they even tried to convince us that Charlie Culberson was a successful Dansby doppelgänger. Which... yeah, I'm not quite buying it.

The Braves DFA'd Culberson in December, and it was just as well--the original Dansby is the only one we need.


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