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Apologies to Yu Darvish


Don't look so DYubious... you're doing amazing! (Pic: Jon Durr/USA Today Sports)

Yu Darvish is currently second in all of MLB in fWAR behind Cleveland's Shane Bieber with a 1.44 ERA that also finds him right behind the Cleveland hurler and atop the National League Cy Young conversation. Fans and media alike are gushing over Darvish's numbers, his dismantling of opposing teams, and his confident demeanor.


This is all an amazing turn of events considering how just a year and a half ago, when he was struggling with injury issues and memories of a postseason performance that he'd eventually learn was tainted by a cheating Asstros team, fans and even "journalists" covering the Cubs could be heard loudly yelling the word "SOFT!" whenever Darvish came up in internet conversation. It's my opinion that they all owe Yu an apology, but since I know that'll never happen, I've taken it upon myself to craft a few on their behalf. Ready? Here we go.


David Kaplan likes to act like he's been good with Darvish all along, but there was a time when he was Yu's biggest critic. In fact, Kaplan once tweeted to Darvish to, and I quote, "Drop a pair and do your job" while the man was fighting an injury. You could go looking for it but Kap's since deleted it... it's memorialized here on Sports Mockery. Since Kaplan has never actually apologized for any of his meatballery toward Darvish, here's what I think it should look like if he would drop a pair and actually issue one:


Then there's Chicago Sun Times beat "writer" Rick Morrissey. Morrissey is infamous for his bad taeks on the Cubs and pretty much everything else, writing a series of pieces questioning Darvish's mental toughness throughout his injury struggles in 2018. Here's how a Morrissey apology might look if he were tough enough to write one:


Oh, and THEN there's the meatball radio tandem of McNeil and Parkins, who groused nonstop about Darvish's injury issues and questioned his toughness. Terrestrial radio sports talk shows have gotten worse over the years anyway, and these two took it over the top, even questioning Darvish's mental state to Theo Epstein. Here's the YUpology they should be issuing:


Finally, let's issue the apology that we know will never, ever happen from one of the folks over at Barst**l land. Barst**l Carl wrote an entire diatribe in 2018 on how soft Yu Darvish is, but now spends his time tweeting things like Yu Darvish is underpaid. I'm sure he could have apologized at some point considering I don't follow him or any of his ilk, but... I doubt it. So I'll take care of this for him.


And there you have it... four apologies from four different media "personalities" that probably should have apologized to Yu a long time ago. To be honest, though, I like my versions better, especially since I've been 100% with Yu all along.




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